Who can be married at Saint Joseph, Saint James, Holy Redeemer or St. Patrick Churches?
Since our purpose is to establish sacramental Christian marriages in the context of the community of the Church, our responsibility is to celebrate marriages in which at least one party is an active, practicing parishioner. Minimally, this would be someone who has been regularly attending Mass here for at least six months prior to beginning marriage preparation. Please remember, our churches are not wedding chapels. They are the home of a parish community in which people are invited to encounter Jesus Christ through His Word and the Sacraments so that they might be strengthened by His grace to live out the Christian Faith. Therefore, they are generally available only for the weddings of those persons who are actively living their faith within this community.
The only exception would be a case in which both the bride and groom live more than one hour from Madison, and at least one parent of the bride or groom is an active member of our parish (and has been for at least six months before the beginning of marriage preparation). In addition, either the bride or groom (or both) must be an active, practicing Catholic in his or her local parish, and the pastor of that parish must certify that the couple would be eligible for marriage in that parish.
We also understand that God calls engaged couples to live chastely until they exchange the sacred vows of marriage – the giving of the body seals and celebrates the giving of one's life in the marriage vows. Though it may be increasingly difficult in our culture, we ask all engaged couples preparing for marriage at Our Lady of Guadalupe Pastorate (Good Shepherd and St. Raphael Parish) to live as faithful disciples of the Lord by abstaining from sexual activity during their engagement. To this end, we also ask all couples preparing for marriage to live separately until marriage.
If you do not meet these requirements and think that you may have circumstances that merit special consideration, please contact the parish office at 608-257-5000.
Can we have a priest from somewhere else officiate our wedding?
Our priests and deacons from the parish ordinarily preside at weddings here. Exceptions to this norm are possible, especially when a member of the family or a very close friend is a priest or deacon. If you wish to invite another Catholic priest or deacon to preside at your wedding mention this during your first call with the parish office. Ultimately, it is the pastor who grants permission for a visiting priest or deacon to preside at a wedding in his parish. (Of course, if Bishop Hying wishes to witness a marriage anywhere in the Diocese of Madison, he needs the permission of no one!) Please remember that if you do have a visiting priest or deacon witness your marriage, there will be an extra $100 charged to compensate a member of our parish staff who will be on hand to help with practical details at your rehearsal and wedding.
What documents are needed to get married here?
Catholics are asked to provide a recently issued baptismal certificate. (The original copy is not sufficient because it does not carry notations – as, for example, information about a prior marriage. Getting a newly issued baptismal certificate is one way of establishing a Catholic’s freedom to marry.) A recently issued certificate may be obtained by contacting the church of your Baptism. We can assist you in finding contact information if necessary. In the event that there are absolutely no baptismal documents available, we can help you to obtain an Affidavit of Baptism.
Non-Catholic Christians are requested to bring any information or documentation they have regarding the date and place of their Baptism – including an original baptismal certificate if available.
Marriages between a Catholic and a non-Catholic person require a dispensation or permission from our diocesan bishop. We take care of obtaining this document when the Catholic party makes the necessary promises: to maintain the practice of the Catholic Faith, and to have the children born of the marriage baptized and raised as Catholics.
Affidavits (statements under oath) will be taken from the parties – and usually from a parent relative or longtime friend of each – vouching for their freedom to marry and intention to enter a true Christian marriage.
If either party has been married previously, written evidence that the previous spouse has died or that the previously married partner is now free to marry according to the norms of the Catholic Church must be presented. A date cannot be set and marriage preparation may not proceed until this step is completed.
A valid marriage license from the state of Wisconsin must be presented to the priest or deacon at the rehearsal. After the wedding, he will sign it and mail it in.
In the exceptional case that neither of the parties to the marriage is a registered parishioner at the Cathedral Parish, we must have written permission from the pastor of at least one Catholic party to have the wedding here.
What kind of marriage preparation must be completed?
Flowers, cake, photographer, reception hall – it can all be so overwhelming! Alas, when it is all said and done your wedding is just one day and your marriage is a lifetime. So while planning for the ceremony and reception is an acknowledged reality, it is preparing for married life that is far more important. In order to have sufficient time to prepare for marriage, you must arrange your wedding date and begin the preparation process at least six months before your wedding date.
1. The first aspect of preparation is reaching out to our parish office with the contact form above. You will receive a call to guide you through this process.
2. You will then meet with a priest or deacon to explain the process and get introduced.
3. Next, you will meet with the marriage coordinator, Gary Wiley, and with a mentor couple of your choice, who should be Catholic, married for at least 5 years, regular attendees at Sunday Mass, and an example of married life that you want to imitate. They will lead 6 meetings in their home with you to talk about marriage.
4. We ask every couple to attend a Natural Family Planning course.
5. One month out from the wedding, you will meet with ministers to verify paperwork and plan details of the wedding.
6. We ask all Catholics to go to Confession before their wedding.
7. Get married!
Should the wedding be celebrated with or without Mass?
Typically a marriage between two Catholics takes place within a Nuptial (Wedding) Mass. However, if many relatives of the couple are not practicing Catholics (or if there are other considerations that lead you to think it might be better to have a wedding liturgy outside Mass), that is certainly permitted. The Nuptial Mass is a privilege, never an obligation.
A marriage between a Catholic and a person of another Christian denomination usually takes place in a liturgy outside Mass. A Nuptial Mass is not permitted for the marriage of a Catholic and an unbaptized person.
How do we determine what music to use in our wedding?
The ceremony in which the Sacrament of Matrimony is received is an act of worship in the Catholic Church. Therefore, music selections need to reflect the common faith of the whole Church. If you wish to use a particular piece of music or have a visiting musician perform in your wedding ceremony, please consult well in advance with the priest or deacon officiating at your wedding or the Music/Liturgy Director, Bruce Bengston.
Do not overlook the effectiveness of congregational hymns as a part of your ceremony. The singing of hymns by the congregation draws your guests into more active participation in the celebration.
Music for the ceremony is your responsibility. We will be happy to give you names and phone numbers of organists, pianists, and/or vocalists, but it is up to you to arrange with them for your wedding.
If you use parish musicians, their fees are included in the overall wedding fee payable to Cathedral Parish. If you use your own musicians, their fees are entirely between you and them. Pre-recorded music or accompaniment tapes should not be used in the public liturgy of the Church.
What about flowers, decorations, etc.?
Please review the following guidelines with your florist and/or those decorating.
Flower arrangements that obstruct the view of the tabernacle or the action on the altar are not allowed. Flowers are not to be placed on top of the tabernacle or the altar. Flowers and other decorations may be placed in the sanctuary near the altar, or in other locations.
The main altar is a consecrated object and should not be used as a worktable or convenient shelf while the church is being decorated.
If the florists want to decorate the church more than one hour before the wedding, they cannot expect the air conditioning to be run in the church for extended periods of time before the ceremony for the sole purpose of keeping floral arrangements cool.
After the wedding, we would certainly appreciate your leaving us your flower arrangements for the weekend Masses in the church; but they do of course belong to the couple.
Tape, tacks, and staples are not allowed when attaching decorations to pews. Pew decorations are easily attached by means of ribbons or plastic hooks.
Aisle runners are not allowed for safety reasons.
Since the Eucharist is the primary and most excellent sign of both Christian and marital unity, there are no unity candles allowed in the celebration of a Nuptial Mass (wedding within the context of Mass).
If candles are used (even the so-called "dripless" candles), you need to provide sheets of plastic underneath them, to catch dripping wax. Candelabras are not permitted.
During the Liturgical Seasons of Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter, the decorations and the colors used in the church are to be considered permanent. During Ordinary Time (essentially the entire summer and fall), you still must consult the priest, deacon, or Director of Evangelization and Catechesis before moving any parish decorations or furniture. Any decorations or furniture that is moved must be returned to its former place once the wedding is over. Weddings during the Lenten season should be modest in their festivity, in keeping with the penitential spirit of the season.
Rice, birdseed, confetti, or flower petals are not to be thrown inside or on the grounds of any of the isthmus churches. This is to ensure the safety of all and to respect the sacred space.
Someone from the bridal party, the family or the florist is to be appointed ahead of time by the couple to be responsible for removing flowers, candles, bows, empty floral boxes, trash and wrappings from the church after the ceremony. Please make sure everything is cleaned up before everyone has left the church.
The church is not responsible for anything left after the wedding nor is it legally responsible for musical instruments rented by the wedding party and used in the parish.
Visiting priests or deacons are to abide by these guidelines, the provisions of Canon Law, and the approved Rite of Marriage.
What do we need to observe regarding photography and videography in the church?
Photographs or videotapes of a wedding can bring back memories for many years to come, but they can also serve as a distraction for everyone involved if proper etiquette is not observed. If you plan to have photographs taken or to have the ceremony videotaped, we ask that they take care not to interfere with the religious nature of the ceremony.
All photographers (still and video) should clarify expectations with the priest or deacon prior to the ceremony. Photographers are not allowed in the sanctuary (the elevated floor area at the front of the church) at any time during the wedding liturgy and are to remain at a respectful distance so as not to distract the congregation. They may also not interrupt any part of the ceremony including the procession.
No extra camera lights may be used during the liturgy. This includes flash lighting. Extra lighting is permissible prior to or following the liturgy.
Photographs can be taken before or after the wedding ceremony.
If the couple would like pictures taken with the officiating priest or deacon after the wedding, these should be taken first to allow him to get on with other duties. Please maintain reverence while taking pictures in order to respect the sacredness of the sanctuary area. Photos intended to be comic or risqué should never be taken in church.